Empty Drawers and Suitcases..

Here I am again getting ready for a big change in my life.

This time instead of going somewhere totally new I will be going home. Home to all the familiarities and comforts I have missed whilst living in Belfast.. sounds great right?

Well yes don't get me wrong I am ready to be home and see my family and friends and animals etc.

But somehow every time I think tomorrow is my last day of work, or I begin to think about packing, I tear up..

Belfast is now not only another city in another country but it is the place I have called home for the past year...

It's the place where I found out who I really was, and were I gained a new found confidence in myself. The place I can just sit and stare at the amazing wonders God has created. The place that baffles me beyond belief and where I find it easier to ask "why not" than try to reason or come up with logic for certain things.

I laugh when I think about the culture here and the people I have met.. the characters I have met in the pubs, the kids on the streets, the people in the shops, people I have lived with, the mums and their kids, the people I work with.

It makes me sad when I realise I can't really share everything I have experienced with people back home.. of course I have my stories, but it doesn't compare to being here and experiencing the language the culture the daily life I live in.

When I look back on the past 13 months I can't believe everything I have done and experienced. Sometimes I feel like I am living in a fairy tale... The book is ending though and it's time to open up a new book.

I am just so thankful for my time here, I never expected to get as much out of this year as I did.

So little by little I pack my stuff and clear out my drawers and think about the time I have had here.

I look forward to my time home and I know that God only has wonderful things in store for me.

5 more Mondays...

What a Whirl Wind year this has been.

I don't even know where to begin with this blog.. so much has been going through my head lately.

Work itself has been crazy, and so many changes are taking place.

This morning at 9 am 2 builders came to our house, and started building a wall in our kitchen.

Since the Volunteer house is now meant to hold 4 full time volunteers, we need an extra room.

This means loosing a great view, and having a large kitchen cut in half.. but it's what needed to be done, so for the next few days, we will be living in a construction zone.

Last Wednesday our new mini bus who we like to call Finn arrived. Finn is a 17 seater, Silver, Mercedes Bus with tinted windows. Needless to say it has taken some getting used to driving, but it is so nice and smooth to ride in and drive.

The Kitchen at work is also going to be getting a face lift very soon, as well as a brand new playground area for our kids!

It's all going to be a brand new Quaker Cottage come the time I am leaving. All very exciting things happening all at once.

It's great when a wealthy older woman leaves money to Charity Organizations :)

A year ago this time, I was preparing myself, for a long adventure, I had no idea what I was getting myself into or how much I would grow.

But there is no way I would give any of it up.

I have learned so much this year, and there are times when I feel like I actually got more, than I gave.

All the snotters I have wiped and nappies I have changed, all the tears I have dried and stories I have read, pictures painted, and games played, don't compare to the experience I have had.

I have learned more about myself and the person I am, I have reliased how independent I am and that is such a wonderful feeling. To know that I am more than capable of taking care of so many different things.

Since Christmas things have been pretty busy around the Cottage. The beginning of February I went on my last Residential ever, it was bitter sweet but it was such a good time.

We had a few days of clearing out the house, which was much needed!

2 weeks ago we started a new group of children and mums. It is always an exciting time to get new groups started and see where things are going to go for a while.

Meet new kids and start new projects.

We have Mother's Day and St. Patrick's Day to Celebrate in the upcoming weeks. (Mother's Day here is April 3rd)

Personally I have some exciting things coming up. I am going on a trip to Manchester and London with a good friend I met here. We are leaving the 17th of March and will be back on the 21st. Hopefully we will be seeing Wicked which I am super excited about! :)

The end of March into April my friend Kendra is coming to visit me.

This is a trip we have been planning since we met at Orientation last year.. so we are both looking forward to exploring Northern Ireland more and spending quality time together before I go home.

And that pretty much wraps up my time here.

It is so strange to think that next Monday this time will be one year since I left the States.

Time really does have a way of going by so quickly.

I am glad Spring time has come back around and the days are getting longer.

Sunshine is something I took for granted in the States, and will be soo soo happy to hot summer days again.

I know I may complain about the heat but it's amazing what a little but of Sunshine can do.

The flowers are blooming and there are even some little calves on the side of the mountain :)

New life has begun, and in just 5 more Mondays a whole new adventure will start for me again.

Back on Track

Going home was absolutely wonderful!! It was just what I needed to help put a spark back in my steps.

It was so great to see family and friends and be so comfortable. It's the little things like hoping in my car and driving anytime I want and having people to visit. It's being able to look at the stars on a clear night. It's the joy of a home cooked meal and laughing with family around the table.

Going to church and being greeted with so many smiles and hugs.

It was also the reminder that I have been gone for so long when people would say remember when ... and I would reply no remember I wasn't here. 9 months is a long time to be away. Children grow extra fast, especially when you aren't watching them everyday.

Even though home was great I realized I need a few months still. I'm still not finished with my time here. I am not ready to say goodbye to all the people I have met and children I have spent the last year of my life with.

I still need to see more of Ireland and Europe.

I have been blessed to spend this year abroad and have experienced so many wonderful things. I know I haven't been the best at blogging about these things. Sometimes It's hard for me to write down what's happening, and to share what I am feeling and or thinking with people so far away. I tried to do just a few pictures here and there but alas I am not blog savey and was having issues getting them to post.

How do you share with someone that your whole life have been turned upside down, and you can't even think of things back home to compare what types of things you are doing? How do you explain a typical day of work, when no two days have been the same since I have been here. Here we can sum it up and say that's just Quakers, but I know that means nothing to people at home.

I want to share my life though and I want people to understand, I want them to understand why I love it here so much, and even when I am at my wits end and ready to throw in the towel, I can just think of one or two children and I feel my spirits lift.

There is just something about knowing that when I go into work that my sole purpose is to provide love and attention to these kids. And make them feel like they are important, because many don't receive any positive attention at all. Most are not even talked to, but talked at and shouted over. My heart breaks when I think of the home lives some of our children find themselves in, and is it any wonder they act the way they do? I truly believe children are products of their environment, and when there is no positive encouragement and everything around you is negative, it sure as hell makes it hard to move through that.

Here we won't say a child is good or bad, and that was something that was hard for me to get used to. We find it so easy to say that child is bad, or look how good that little boy is. Yes, maybe their behaviors are good or bad, but the children certainly aren't, and trust me I have met a variety of kids this year with a wide spectrum of behaviors. There is something about hearing a five year old tell you to "Fuck off" that really just makes you step back and think.

Still I have a hard time explaining why I love it here so much. I think it is just something that I really enjoy, and it has been confirmed for me that working with children is a strong strength of mine.

It's official I have a flight and everything I will be back in the State's April 18th. That's a month longer than my year here. I have plans to travel to England, hopefully London as well. Travel more down south in Ireland, see a few plays, possibly a concert. and Just enjoy my last weeks :)