Empty Drawers and Suitcases..

Here I am again getting ready for a big change in my life.

This time instead of going somewhere totally new I will be going home. Home to all the familiarities and comforts I have missed whilst living in Belfast.. sounds great right?

Well yes don't get me wrong I am ready to be home and see my family and friends and animals etc.

But somehow every time I think tomorrow is my last day of work, or I begin to think about packing, I tear up..

Belfast is now not only another city in another country but it is the place I have called home for the past year...

It's the place where I found out who I really was, and were I gained a new found confidence in myself. The place I can just sit and stare at the amazing wonders God has created. The place that baffles me beyond belief and where I find it easier to ask "why not" than try to reason or come up with logic for certain things.

I laugh when I think about the culture here and the people I have met.. the characters I have met in the pubs, the kids on the streets, the people in the shops, people I have lived with, the mums and their kids, the people I work with.

It makes me sad when I realise I can't really share everything I have experienced with people back home.. of course I have my stories, but it doesn't compare to being here and experiencing the language the culture the daily life I live in.

When I look back on the past 13 months I can't believe everything I have done and experienced. Sometimes I feel like I am living in a fairy tale... The book is ending though and it's time to open up a new book.

I am just so thankful for my time here, I never expected to get as much out of this year as I did.

So little by little I pack my stuff and clear out my drawers and think about the time I have had here.

I look forward to my time home and I know that God only has wonderful things in store for me.

5 more Mondays...

What a Whirl Wind year this has been.

I don't even know where to begin with this blog.. so much has been going through my head lately.

Work itself has been crazy, and so many changes are taking place.

This morning at 9 am 2 builders came to our house, and started building a wall in our kitchen.

Since the Volunteer house is now meant to hold 4 full time volunteers, we need an extra room.

This means loosing a great view, and having a large kitchen cut in half.. but it's what needed to be done, so for the next few days, we will be living in a construction zone.

Last Wednesday our new mini bus who we like to call Finn arrived. Finn is a 17 seater, Silver, Mercedes Bus with tinted windows. Needless to say it has taken some getting used to driving, but it is so nice and smooth to ride in and drive.

The Kitchen at work is also going to be getting a face lift very soon, as well as a brand new playground area for our kids!

It's all going to be a brand new Quaker Cottage come the time I am leaving. All very exciting things happening all at once.

It's great when a wealthy older woman leaves money to Charity Organizations :)

A year ago this time, I was preparing myself, for a long adventure, I had no idea what I was getting myself into or how much I would grow.

But there is no way I would give any of it up.

I have learned so much this year, and there are times when I feel like I actually got more, than I gave.

All the snotters I have wiped and nappies I have changed, all the tears I have dried and stories I have read, pictures painted, and games played, don't compare to the experience I have had.

I have learned more about myself and the person I am, I have reliased how independent I am and that is such a wonderful feeling. To know that I am more than capable of taking care of so many different things.

Since Christmas things have been pretty busy around the Cottage. The beginning of February I went on my last Residential ever, it was bitter sweet but it was such a good time.

We had a few days of clearing out the house, which was much needed!

2 weeks ago we started a new group of children and mums. It is always an exciting time to get new groups started and see where things are going to go for a while.

Meet new kids and start new projects.

We have Mother's Day and St. Patrick's Day to Celebrate in the upcoming weeks. (Mother's Day here is April 3rd)

Personally I have some exciting things coming up. I am going on a trip to Manchester and London with a good friend I met here. We are leaving the 17th of March and will be back on the 21st. Hopefully we will be seeing Wicked which I am super excited about! :)

The end of March into April my friend Kendra is coming to visit me.

This is a trip we have been planning since we met at Orientation last year.. so we are both looking forward to exploring Northern Ireland more and spending quality time together before I go home.

And that pretty much wraps up my time here.

It is so strange to think that next Monday this time will be one year since I left the States.

Time really does have a way of going by so quickly.

I am glad Spring time has come back around and the days are getting longer.

Sunshine is something I took for granted in the States, and will be soo soo happy to hot summer days again.

I know I may complain about the heat but it's amazing what a little but of Sunshine can do.

The flowers are blooming and there are even some little calves on the side of the mountain :)

New life has begun, and in just 5 more Mondays a whole new adventure will start for me again.

Back on Track

Going home was absolutely wonderful!! It was just what I needed to help put a spark back in my steps.

It was so great to see family and friends and be so comfortable. It's the little things like hoping in my car and driving anytime I want and having people to visit. It's being able to look at the stars on a clear night. It's the joy of a home cooked meal and laughing with family around the table.

Going to church and being greeted with so many smiles and hugs.

It was also the reminder that I have been gone for so long when people would say remember when ... and I would reply no remember I wasn't here. 9 months is a long time to be away. Children grow extra fast, especially when you aren't watching them everyday.

Even though home was great I realized I need a few months still. I'm still not finished with my time here. I am not ready to say goodbye to all the people I have met and children I have spent the last year of my life with.

I still need to see more of Ireland and Europe.

I have been blessed to spend this year abroad and have experienced so many wonderful things. I know I haven't been the best at blogging about these things. Sometimes It's hard for me to write down what's happening, and to share what I am feeling and or thinking with people so far away. I tried to do just a few pictures here and there but alas I am not blog savey and was having issues getting them to post.

How do you share with someone that your whole life have been turned upside down, and you can't even think of things back home to compare what types of things you are doing? How do you explain a typical day of work, when no two days have been the same since I have been here. Here we can sum it up and say that's just Quakers, but I know that means nothing to people at home.

I want to share my life though and I want people to understand, I want them to understand why I love it here so much, and even when I am at my wits end and ready to throw in the towel, I can just think of one or two children and I feel my spirits lift.

There is just something about knowing that when I go into work that my sole purpose is to provide love and attention to these kids. And make them feel like they are important, because many don't receive any positive attention at all. Most are not even talked to, but talked at and shouted over. My heart breaks when I think of the home lives some of our children find themselves in, and is it any wonder they act the way they do? I truly believe children are products of their environment, and when there is no positive encouragement and everything around you is negative, it sure as hell makes it hard to move through that.

Here we won't say a child is good or bad, and that was something that was hard for me to get used to. We find it so easy to say that child is bad, or look how good that little boy is. Yes, maybe their behaviors are good or bad, but the children certainly aren't, and trust me I have met a variety of kids this year with a wide spectrum of behaviors. There is something about hearing a five year old tell you to "Fuck off" that really just makes you step back and think.

Still I have a hard time explaining why I love it here so much. I think it is just something that I really enjoy, and it has been confirmed for me that working with children is a strong strength of mine.

It's official I have a flight and everything I will be back in the State's April 18th. That's a month longer than my year here. I have plans to travel to England, hopefully London as well. Travel more down south in Ireland, see a few plays, possibly a concert. and Just enjoy my last weeks :)

Tis the season for Pondering's..

Since before Halloween, yes that's right the end of October, I have been hearing about Christmas and when will people start decorating and how are they going to save enough money for all the top gifts for their kids.

I know the season seems to start sooner and sooner but this is the first year I think I really thought about how early people were starting to fret over this upcoming Holiday. This is when I got really sad because I feel like the whole meaning of Christmas has been lost in the hustle and bustle of buying buying buying..

Back in the States I always look forward to Thanksgiving and I feel it starts the Holiday season off to a good start. It's a great reminder to be thankful for all the blessings we have in our lives.

This Thanksgiving I not only had to work, but was away from my family, and didn't even have 1 yummy feast. However, that being said.. this may have been one of my favorite Thanksgivings.

The reason being it really gave me the chance to think about how Thankful I am for everything I have in my life and how truly blessed I am. I wasn't distracted by turkey's or the craziness that sometimes can take over the Holiday.

I was able to phone my family and talk to everyone on my dad's side, it was so great to hear from them all. Even though I am miles and miles away I know I am being supported for what I am doing and that means the world to me.

Now as the days our drawing closer to Christmas the craziness has really set in.

I can't believe it's only going to be 20 day's until I am back home in the states again to celebrate Christmas with my family. It will be the simple joys of seeing family, having a real Christmas tree, and spending Christmas Eve with my family and sherbert gingerale punch!

Tonight we made egg nog, pumpkin muffins, and hopefully putting up our fake Christmas tree...

Yes the season is here.

I will be thankful for all I have, and hopefully spread the Christmas tree and true reason for the season

Pictures

Our Turnip :)

Waterfalls

Hamish the Scottish Coo (Cow)
Beautiful Sky

Me in front of the water fall and The Kilt Rock

Castle Looking over Loch Ness

Snow on the mountains

Sunset in Edinburgh

Edinburgh Castle

Scotland and All Hallows Eve

This past week was a Holiday week from work for Halloween. I decided to venture on my own and take a trip to Scotland. I flew early Sunday morning into Edinburgh, and just loved what I saw. It's such a gorgeous city. I saw the Edinburgh castle, the school that inspired Harry Potter as well as went into the cafe where JK Rowling wrote all the Harry Potter books, heard some ghosts stories in a grave yard, had some good Mediterranean food, and read a good bit.

Monday morning our tour began around 9 am. I met some people in the hostel who were also traveling alone and chatted with them until we boarded our bus. We drove all the way from Edinburgh to the Isle of Skye which took us all day but of course we made some stops along the way. Including seeing Loch Ness but of course the monster did not want to come out and play. We heard a lot of pretty cool legends and fairy tales and saw lots of castles and even snow up in the top of the mountains. We arrived to the Isle of Skye after driving over the Atlantic ocean, and stayed in a small town called Kylabin.

The next day we proceeded to venture around the Isle and even went on a 2 hour hike with mountain sheep. Such a good time. When we started we couldn't see the top of the mountain because it was in the fog. There are just so many breath taking views I can't even put it into words. Also we went to the Faerie Glen and the Sligachan River where it is said if you stick your face in the water for 7 seconds you will be blessed with eternal youth and beauty. :)

The third day was also spend mostly on the bus driving back to Edinburgh.

It was such a great time to go on my own and meet new people. It is almost empowering to go on a trip alone and know you will be a ok.

After my excursion to the land of the Scots I returned to Belfast, in which I had an odd since of returning home. I felt has if I had been away for too long, and I missed my little cottage on the mountain.

The rest of the weekend was really relaxing and I just hung out with a friend and experienced Halloween in Northern Ireland.

Halloween in the States just doesn't compare to fireworks, carved turnips, and the crazy costumes I saw this weekend. Halloween started in Ireland and was taken everywhere else by the Irish, just a little fact for you. We also went to this place called the Ulster Transport and Folk museum. It was so fun just to see everyone dressed up and enjoying themselves we were even able to make Halloween Turnip masks, try some Apple tart (apparently a Halloween treat) and enjoy soda bread.

Daylights Savings time also happened Saturday night so for one week I am only 4 hours time difference from home.

Our new volunteer should be here sometime in the month.

Everything is going well still loving the life and hunkering down for the cold winter. But I do now have a fire place which makes me a very very happy girl!! :)

Cheerio for now

What about ya?

What I wake up to

There is so much going through my head when I think about all I have to share about my experience here. But when I sit down to write, no words come.

Pictures and memories flood my senses but I am overcome with a writers block.

It's funny how I have adapted to the environment here, to the chatter to the lingo to the way of life.

When talking to family and friends they often comment about my Irish banter and question words I say. When I first arrived here I remember sitting in a meeting and not understanding a word that was being said. It was honestly like I had been thrown into a country where they spoke a different language. I was so nervous about driving the mini buses, learning all the bus routes, knowing how to handle difficult kids, and learning all the routines at Quakers.

I can't remember exactly when, but now all of these things I do without a second thought, they come so naturally and it feels as if I have been living here for longer than 7 months.

I have been reliving them more lately as I am watching my two new house mates find their own place at Quakers and learn everything for the first time and I can see how far I have come since I first arrived.

Not one day has been exactly the same and I think that's something I love so much about work here, you can never tell exactly how a day is going to go when you wake up in the morning.

I get to cuddle new born babies, play with toddlers and pre-schoolers. Watch after schoolers explore learn and be creative, have a bit of craic (a bit of fun) with the pre-teens and listen to them chat away about life. I can chat with the mums and hear a bit about their lives. But not only do I get to play most days, but I have learned the art of fixing chips (fries) and lasagna. I get to organize and clean clutter pretty much every day which is one of my favorite past times, I have great co-workers who keep me on my toes. I have mastered the stick shift mini bus and can find my way around Belfast pretty easily. I am learning to let things roll of my back and just accept what people say. and this is only what I get to do during the hours I am at work! Shew..

The other day I got a message from a friend and in the end he said I hope you are having the experience of a life time, and that really hit home for some reason, because it made me see how blessed I truly am to be here and have all these experiences.

So while I am missing things about home and my family and friends like crazy I have time left here and am going to soak it up!

We have next week off for Halloween and I am off on a trip to Scotland to explore the Highlands and the Loch Ness area! :)

What a lucky girl am I